simple, natural

a stone set into a motion can create small insignificant ripples that turn into powerful waves. each and everyone of us can create a different path, we can create a change. trail blaze our way to an authentic experience of ourselves. continue to feel the drive of unconditional love. simple, natural love. simple, natural beauty. free to feel the simple, natural state of being. emerge yourself in pure pure. feel the power of its all encompassing euphoria! love simple, natural.

musac ah ha #2

music has always been a huge part of my life. not the "omg i loveeee this song, britney is a serious genius' type of part in my life but a deeper part, its spiritual, inspiring and brilliant. for me the power of music comes from the level at which it allows the listener to escape from their self and invites him/her to move deeper into their being allowing them to become vulnerable, grow and heal themselves spiritually through inspiration and self awareness that certain genres of music can initiate (thank you dallin). to numerous individuals each genre may do something different for them. for example country makes me want to start bleeding out every orface of my face then saw off the toe of a wild poison toad a drink its blood. BUT to someone else country may initiate a sense of spirituality and assist them to feel what is really going on inside them. so thus even though i don't necessarily enjoy listening to country music i still can have an appreciation for it and how it may serve others. its also very interesting to me how each genre appeals to various individuals and how their perceptions turn each song into something they either love or despise in their little reality that they create. really each song uses basically the same notes on the piano, guitar, banjo, harmonica, harp, flute, etc... you could have sufjan stevens playing one of his complex genius symphonies in one ear and a mellow jose gonsalez acoustic in the other and appreciate each one in its own form. or loath each one to each their own. what i'm getting at is music is a powerful force good or bad. it is our choice to what we decide to make it. we allow what influences us into our minds, there is no place to blame other outside sources because everything that happens to us we are accountable for. thus the music that we allow to shape us may, in fact, be a mirror into our true self. just a fun thing to think about. what do we listen to most? what do we fail to listen to? what moves us? what inspires us? what genre does the most good for us? or are we unaware of which one it is. do we listen just to have noise? or do we listen to appreciate chords, lyrics, harmonies, and tempos? do we allow our selves to sink deeply into what the artist may have been portraying or are we so shallow to not even care to dive deeply in to this master crafted art work? i challenge all to take a deeper genuine approach to the music that they listen to and find out what it really means to them on a spiritual, intellectual and inspirational level so that we as a generation aren't so mindless.

ah ha moment #1....

i must have been swimming in the ocean of epiphanies today, it seemed as if they just kept flooding into my heart and head like mexican food floods to your arteries and hips... bless it. So one of the huge ah ha moments i had today was while i was in a bless-ed meeting with the bish... i've been reading two very great books that i definitely recommend, one being 'the miracle of forgiveness' by spencer w. kimball and the other being 'believing christ' by stephen e. robinson. both very, very amazing books. however having said that in my own opinion the miracle of forgiveness is knowledge, and believing christ gives you hope for that knowledge. you'd know what i mean if you read them... ANYWAY. on page 8 in 'believing christ' it states "it doesn't matter what you did. whatever it was, no matter how horrible or vile, is not the issue. the issue here is that whatever your sin was or is, i can erase it, i can clean you up and make you innocent, pure, and worthy, and i can do it today; i can do it now." holy cow. the atonement is so strong and i can seriously use it for anything, yet i take it for granted. yet how much our heavenly father loves us. he is so willing to forget and erase any sin that we have no matter how small or large it is. it was so humbling to me. the love of god is so pure that really he is always going to love us. no matter what. he loves us. i take for granted so much that i am blessed with every waking moment and yet he continues to bless me. i can only imagine what kind of blessings i could receive from him if i were to acknowledge every one that i already have. another thing that i take for granted are the gifts that i have. all of my talents and abilities that i share with the world, or that i hide. either way i have them. i have been blessed with a lot of them yet i shy away when others seek to be graced by them... nuts.. why hide a beautiful thing that the lord has so gracefully given me?? he is proud of his creation, me, and that includes everything that is in me. yet i hide some of them... hm... crazy right? any way... i just was overwhelmed when i realized that i can not even comprehend how much my father in heaven loves sinful me. each curve ball in life is just a sign that he knows i can handle it and he believes in my strength and ability. i am strong and have done, and am doing amazing things in life with his help. i love my savior with all my heart and i really am so grateful to him for every single thing in my life. yay for love, joy, innocence, and worth!!

i am a creator

how often i choose to fight for my own limitations. how often i opt out of things because i think that i am not worthy or that others are more deserving. i catch myself every day dwelling on things that could'a would'a should'a been. however i have come to the realization that i create everything in my life. the good, the bad, and the ugly. everything that has come to me in my life i have created in some way or another. i believe that this is why heavenly father chose to give us our agency, so we could be tested and create our life. thus i am a creator. with this title comes so much responsibility that i am well deserving of. i create love in my life, happiness, joy, compassion, innocence, worth, trust, inspiration, authenticity, liberation, power, passion, brilliance, freedom, abundance, acceptance, radiance, leadership, nurturing,and so much more. my life is my canvas, the lord will intercept here and there and create the strokes that he knows are best fitting for me. if i drown myself in his pure love and look to him for assistance in erasing a stroke here or there he will. other than that, this is my canvas, no one can splash paint that i don't allow to be splashed. with my gifts i can touch and inspire people in my life. i create joy for them and empowerment through the true pure love that i can give and receive. life is our canvas and mine is what i have decided to create, mine has black spots of hurt and pain but it also has radiant colors of yellow, turquoise, purple, orange, aqua, white... so much color, so much love, so many experiences. painted.

i feel real.

tear drops frowned upon, broken hearts buried, rejection rejected. so many times i figure that shutting out my true feelings is a normal thing to do. its better that i shut down and forget about hurt... become a robot. robots, they don't have to feel pain, hurt, emotions. they are what they are. steel, metal, emotionless boxes. i'm no robot. i am real, i feel pain, hurt, however with this i get to have opposition i get to feel joy, freedom, love and worth. i am worthy, loving and free. no one can take that away from me. i create so many gifts for this world, innocence, joy, freedom, worth,courage, gratitude, hope, peace, empowerment. these amongst so many others are what the lord has given me. i am talented, beautiful, and gifted. i deserve only the best, i deserve to give and receive love easily. i deserve to be able to experience vulnerability for the best, i get to have my walls broken, torn down, burned,i want you to see me. don't let me hold back my greatness, call me out on it. as i find myself crawling into my old, dark, sad, miserable well... take my hand, show me light. i know its there, i just sometimes want to forget. why do i despise feelings? because when i feel, i know i'm real, i know that i am not perfect, i know i have battle scars, fresh wounds, tear streaks, unsaid words, a shattered, torn-up, sloppily pieced together heart. this is real. feelings are real. every single one. real. i feel real. so real i despise it. no mask, no façade, no wall can hide me. as much as i resent this at the same time i am so grateful for it. i get to know that i am. i live. i breath. i feel. i am.

take flight

i've been meaning to get a few more posts up here for a while, here we go...

tear drops put out the fire
the fire of our once love
where flowers blossomed
water flows around the bend

chorus:

wings take flight
feathers scatter in the sun
the suns rays put out light
and the water runs through the night
and the water runs through the night

drops of the crimson life
surround the flurries of the sky
wind screams and howls so deep
I’m alone the comfort keep

fly away with me
fly away with me
pockets so steep
surround me please

chorus:

wings take flight
feathers scatter in the sun
the suns rays put out light
and the water runs through the night

stop signs passing by
street lights hard to find
the moon sings in the sky
the fox cries as I pass by

clouds soar their gentle shapes
hide themselves their passing state
eagles kaw and I’m awake
the eagles kaw and I’m awake

my wings take flight
the feathers scatter in the sun
I feel the sun rays throw out their light
hear the water run through the night x4