clocks

time has flown this year. i remember going sledding with my then great life crush Oakly. running around tackling each other in the lovely january snow. meeting his nieces and nephews and falling in love with each of them. realizing that maybe this crush was turning into more. skipping ahead now we've been married for nearly 2 months. they haven't been easy months. but when have Oakly and i decided to let things be easy? each time i look at a clock my heart skips a beat... its already that time?? its already that day? its already been 2 months? summer is nearly over and i feel that i'm just ready to have it start. why have i let time fly by so quickly? why do clocks determine my life? wake up at 7:00 be ready to leave at 8:15 be to work by 9:00... time... clocks. who decided to let us be run by time? i mean i understand the reasoning of time and of order... however, what ever happend to this moment? this time right now? in all reality that is all we have. this moment this time. we aren't promised anything more or anything less. this moment is our life. this choice, this word, this emotion. why do so many of us concentrate on what will be or what will happen when all we have is right now. why not focus on right now. make more concious decisions now that will lead us to what we so desire. every single thing i do within this moment decides my future decides a little more of the outcome of my life. this thought. i don't have five minutes from now for that does not exist.. i do not have 5 minutes ago for that no longer exists.. all i have is now. and i'm going to make the best of it. so why clocks?