Thursday, April 22, 2010
my dear;
and go my dear
its love you fear
love you behold
its before me fortold
now i see
the love we can be
how we remain
this love still the same
and search for heaven
the stregth we'll be given
hope will provide
the hurt will subside
and go my dear
its love you fear
go and behold
this love is fotold
and pray to the skys
the clouds pass by
ho0ld onto me
i find we are free
now go my dear
no need for fear
love is blind
my love is kind
we are strong
we've been all along
hold me show me
love.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
just breathe
lately i've been letting all my stresses really eat at me and get to me. they appear every where and i see them in other areas of my life that i don't even think are related. i realized that as i'm stressing and allowing myself to feel this way i'm no longer in my place of love. i find that as i choose to be stressed i live more in a place of fear and of anger than of love. why let some little things that wont even matter in a week affect me so harshly at that moment? its not worth it. i live so i can experience life at its best, live, love, laugh, learn, why would i allow such small things to be of detriment to my beautiful life? thus i have learned to just breathe, just breathe and let it go. the more i practice this the easier it gets to just "get over it". i find that as i do this i feel well. i feel light, happy and free. yes i have alot on my plate, yes i do get a bit stressed.. i'm human. BUT, its my choice to stay in that energy of stress or to dwell on things that i have no control over. so i've learned that i can accept what is and just be. live in the moment freely and happily. living in every moment of life with a true genuine joyous smile because i know that i get to choose how i feel and what i am.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
there you are.
the spiral of events that have occurred the past couple months have twisted and twirled me into the winds of a tornado cyclone. my heart has been stolen for all eternity. i can honestly say i have truly found the perfect person for me, my perfect soul mate, the love of my forever. he came suddenly. i looked at him 6 months ago and felt a deep connection, my heart instantly found a special place for him, confused at its reaction i figured that he was one of those people i just wanted to put in my pocket and take around with me places. the more i got to know him the more drawn to him i felt. the deep connection we had was perfect and so beautiful. i knew i loved him but in what way? for months i struggled with what it was about him that was so magnetic to me. there were so many incredible qualities that i saw in him yet i told myself that they were the qualities of a dear friend not anything more. i found myself shushing my heart as it would rapidly beat out of control in his presence. my heart was vulnerable in the palm of his hands. we became closer and started spending more and more time together. all the while in my mind where the words... "what. in. the. hell. he is a cowboy?!" never would i have ever imagined this, yet it was perfect for me. after repeatedly disconnecting my heart from my head and allowing my head to take control i thought i was okay and that i wasn't in fact in love with this stranger, someone i'd only known for a couple months but had been through intensive training with, i knew him by heart, however my brain was telling me that i still didn't really know him because of the frame of time that it had only been despite seeing him for who he truly was i fought it, thought i was to young. then one night it hit me like a load of bricks,a sledge hammer to my head, an airplane banner in the sky. i felt and knew that i was supposed to be with this man for eternity. there was no denying the feeling, the sign, the constant whispering in my heart. i knew it. plain and simple. i was angry because it was me that would get to be vulnerable and tell him. i didn't want to. i fought the feeling, i fought the prompting. i hated that it was me. then suddenly i felt it so strongly there was no way around saying it aloud to him. the second the sentence left my mouth the warmth filled the room with the breath of the words. he had known for weeks but had been fighting it as well. our holds tightened on one another and we knew and felt it so intensely it was nearly visible in the darkness of the room. the salt lake temple is now awaiting us. its perfect, i love him with all that i am forever and ever. i found him suddenly and love him fully, there you are my love i've been waiting.
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